So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
