do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
