the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
