I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
