I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
