Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
