So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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