I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
