Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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