We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
