well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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