Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
