How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
