Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
