We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
