dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
