I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
