So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
