apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
