so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
