Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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