you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
