I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
