Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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