So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
