i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
