Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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