pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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