Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
