my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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