My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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