Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
