Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
