hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and she was petting her beer can
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
