Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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