just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
