you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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