Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize