where am i from again
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
