im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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