I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
