is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
