you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
