plz talk dirty to me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
