Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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