C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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