He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
