There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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