So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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