I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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