remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
