separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
