Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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