He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
