I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
