I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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