I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
