hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize