She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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