Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
