But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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