Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
