That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
