love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
