and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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