pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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