how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize